The Team’s Sponge
The Punching-Bag laughs in the face of bruises—literally. He catches stray pucks, chirps officials, gets rag-dolled in scrums, and skates back grinning. Teammates unload chirps, opponents hack away, yet he absorbs it all and throws back comedy instead of tantrums.
He knows his role: take attention off stars, rile up rivals, and keep morale high when the bench feels heavy. He can handle the physical grind, but his real superpower is deflecting negativity by embracing it.
Need someone to sit in the middle for sewer ball? Need a volunteer for a prank? Need comic relief after a bad period? The Punching-Bag is already raising his hand.
Vitals
Favourite phrase: “Hit me again.”
Bruise count: Lost track years ago
Special skill: Remembering every chirp and using it later.
In-Game Role
Screen goalie, draw penalties, bait opponents into dumb penalties, make the bench laugh mid-line change.
Locker Room Legacy
Owner of the “hardest worker, funniest human” award. Keeps team group chats spicy.
Scouting Report
- Iron Chin: Takes cross-checks, snow showers, and chirps without blinking.
- Agitator Energy: Draws penalties like a magnet by smiling through chaos.
- Emotional Buffer: Turns tense moments into punchlines, keeping teammates relaxed.
- Underrated Skill: Finds greasy goals because no one bothers to tie him up— they’re too busy shoving.
Punchline History
When a rival captain tried to intimidate the bench, the Punching-Bag blew him a kiss and asked for an autograph. Two shifts later the rival took a retaliation penalty. Power-play goal. Bench explosion. Mission accomplished.
“He’s the bruise king, but he’s also our mood manager. When he’s laughing, everyone breathes easier.” — Captain
How to Channel the Punching-Bag
- Embrace adversity. Use humour to control reactions and keep perspective.
- Strengthen your core—taking hits with balance is a skill.
- Know when to draw the line. Take the abuse but never let it derail the team.
- Be the teammate who can take a joke and deliver one when everyone needs it most.