Mine, Mine, Mine
The Puck Hog treats the puck like a family heirloom. Once it’s on their tape, good luck prying it away. They cut inside, spin back, toe-drag through traffic, and maybe—just maybe—fire a shot after skating a marathon shift. Linemates coast with hands ready, hoping this time a pass might slip through. Maybe.
The thing is, the Puck Hog usually can beat three defenders. They grew up practicing puck control in basement laundry baskets and now make it look effortless. Coaches wrestle between letting creativity bloom and reminding them the other four skaters exist.
The team chirps relentlessly, but they also know when the Puck Hog feels it, highlight reels follow.
Vitals
Favourite phrase: “I got it.”
Stick tape: Extra tacky for grip
Pre-game ritual: 20 minutes of puckhandling in the hallway.
Strengths
Elite edges, deceptive hands, unstoppable net drives. Draws penalties like a magnet.
Areas of Growth
Seeing teammates, sharing pucks, celebrating assists as much as goals. Work in progress.
Scouting Report
- Possession Powerhouse: Can single-handedly cycle for 45 seconds. Exhausts defenders and camera operators.
- Shot Volume: Leads the team in unblocked attempts and missed “would’ve been” passes.
- Polarizing Presence: Inspires cheers when he scores, sighs when he ignores backdoor tap-ins.
- Coachable... eventually: When he buys in, he can dish beauties. Getting him there takes patience.
Puck Hog Lore
In a must-win, the Puck Hog gained the zone, circled the net twice, deked three players, and finally ripped a shot top corner. On the bench, the coach deadpanned, “Great shift. Next time, see if anyone else wants to play.” Everyone laughed—except the goalie who still had to catch his breath.
“He’ll drive you nuts, then he’ll win the game. That’s the Puck Hog package.” — Linemate
How to Channel the Puck Hog
- Master puck control. Stickhandle in tight spaces until the puck feels glued to you.
- Lift your head. Use your skill to draw coverage, then reward teammates with tap-ins.
- Balance creativity with structure—pick your moments to freelance.
- Remember hockey karma. Share the puck and it will find you back in big spots.